Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Star Of Ishtar's avatar

As someone who has been through (what is increasingly the norm) a porn addiction that started at a young age, AND has been sober from it for like 6-7ish years now... I agree but also disagree with this.

In having to quit I had to ultimately learn alot about how/why I got into this situation, what it was doing to me, how to get out of it, but also more importantly how to prevent it in the first place. And with all of that I gotta be honest, pornography itself isn't the issue. The issue itself overlaps strongly with the reasons for most addictions, but since sex is primal and natural and inherently intimate and evolutionarily associated with relationships, porn highlights a unique blindspot in society.

And as cliche as it may be it really is a lack of love and the removal of the physicality and sensuality from the conceptualization of what love means and is. That combined with the absence of adult responsibility and maturity to manage the ability TO ENJOY LIFE and HAVE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS and to TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL BODY.

To be fair, this topic alone probably needs it's own article (if not a book) but in short alot of the "buzzwords" nowadays are the problem not porn. As long as people have sex there will be porn cause beyond the evolutionary and reproductive utility, it's inherently interesting and feels good and people are going to want to learn about it and how to do it healthily; hence pornography... Not the problem. But these, buzzwords... Depression, financial stress and poverty, loneliness epidemic, trauma, emotional intelligence, lack of connection, etc are the real problems.

Porn is really just the junk food version of love, connection, intimacy and sex... Saying that though, this porn epidemic really highlights that we don't actually have good ways of doing the non junk food version of it, because if we did, you wouldn't go to porn as a substitute. Same way a cocaine addict goes to it for fun, excitement and meaning or how alcohol is "liquid courage".

To me, it's really that as a collective, we're REALLY immature about something ancient and powerful and we really have to just grow up around the topic of sex and all those other things related to it (which seems to be alot). After all, it is "a need" because without it there is no more life and no more people and you and I wouldn't have this conversation or this platform.

It's about the redemption and genuine acceptance of Eros rather than it's exclusion and elimination. Make love, not war with with lol

Granimal's avatar

Tell me why sex therapists and coaches have a hard time telling clients porn is corrosive for their sex life? Moralizing as a negative charge to people with experience saying porn is bad is so common. As you explain porn is a powerful drug that creates compulsion because it highjacks our sensitive natural circuitry. Saying porn is bad is not saying self pleasure is evil. We swing to extremes in our society and do much gets thrown out each time we swing between crazy new ideas and back to the desire to control people. Vast majority don’t know their own desires let alone a hint of awareness about feeling their own internal sensations. Intimacy is hard won these days between two people that pursue self awareness

168 more comments...

No posts

Ready for more?