Thank you for your piece, Zahra. This is such a relevant topic. I found it really important that you speak against blaming or shaming girls for acting in ways that they're being rewarded for, and instead focus on the ecosystem that created this system of reward.
I wonder: do you have any concrete ideas on how to tackle this? I think public policy might be the greatest tool, but I doubt that our states, bowing to the money-making machine, would want to confront this so directly. And as parents, prohibiting doesn't usually do any good... I know it's a hard question, but would love to hear any thoughts!
You’re absolutely right! On a social/political level you’re right only policy can really make a substantial difference and not sure how we could go about that. But on an individual and community level a lot of difference can be made. We often underestimate how impactful small changes in the culture of our homes and wider communities can be.
Preyed on at the age of 10 - lead to a totally unhealthy relationship with porn - which lead to lying and gaslighting the habit I had - which resulted in a divorce of what was a beautiful and promising marriage of 5 years. Thank you for sharing this and putting a spotlight on the very real problem that’s right beneath everyone’s noses.
The aftermath for the young may not seem destructive at first but its consequences in the long run are terrible - speaking from experience.
This is an exceptionally important topic. May Allah (swt) bless your efforts in raising it. It warrants far greater attention and crucially, meaningful action beyond what we are currently witnessing.
It has become increasingly evident that individuals raised within cosmopolitan, digitally saturated environments are continuously exposed to particular narratives and values that shape their worldview. In contrast, communities with more limited exposure to such online material often retain value systems that differ significantly from those disseminated through digital culture.
This disparity underscores the need for a deeper examination (met with action) surrounding how online influences shape social norms, identity formation, and collective values across different communities.
Thank you again for sharing this brilliant read sis!
This is one of the best articles I have ever read on substack.
Zahra,
I loved the writing style. You have nailed the topic, there's coherency between the ideas. The clear segregation of soft and explicit is explained beautifully.
To quote a few lines from your article,
"Algorithms are not passive landscapes; they are very hyperactive brokers of attention. They learn a user’s vulnerabilities with greater speed than any human observer could. "
The topic resonates with me a lot. Safe to say that the algorithms track everything, what time you wake up, what time you sleep, how big or small your real life friend cricle is, how much time you spend with them, what you eat, down to the every second of your life.
These platforms have all types of content one can imagine, to keep everyone hooked.
You like sports , we have it. You like fashion, we have it.
You like food , we have it. You like cute cat videos, we have it. You name it , we have it.
There's a magical wand that sits at the center of everything, negativity. Social media platforms crave negativity. Content which is soft porn, voilent , controversial, abusive, gains more traction and engagement.
To top it all of its free. The problem is not in social media or socializing, the problem is the business model on which social media is based on.
Social media is designed to exploit you, it is designed to be addictive no matter how disciplined you are.
As a teenage girl who grew up “online ” I’ve always been exposed to soft porn content , from couple contents to booktok,etc.. but that never really influenced me until I came of age at around 15-16 all the girls around me where making thirst traps and posting themselves on social media and showing off how great their bodies were starting to look and being known as the girl who is “cute “ and not a “baddie” who doesn’t know how to do thirst traps was extremely embarrassing, I suffered from alienation until I gave in and now I’m a bit old enough to recognise those horrible behaviour and how to avoid becoming a victim. My youngest cousin (10 ) is also feeling the need to show her body on the internet in order to not be an outcast around her classmates. The effects of self-pornification on young girls need to be talked about more , loved this .
For females, on a psychological level, it actually is much harder. On a rewards-based level females are more relational than men. We care more about being in-group, about being informed, involved, not excluded. We are more sensitive to group dynamics and are more negatively impacted when we are excluded, insulted and targeted online.
Jonathan Haidt has a done a tone of research on this and for girls and women social media operates a little like a trap. Once we’re in the in-group that comprises our following and followers on Instagram for example, it becomes much much harder to exclude ourselves and leave.
Excellent essay, Zahra! And terrifying as well, speaking as a mom of a 15 year old. Thank you for sharing all your research and findings in such a riveting manner.
this is exactly what Zahra was talking against in her piece. It is not about blaming women for dressing in any way, it is about noticing and acting against a system that tells us that our worth is tied to the shape of our bodies and how much we display them.
I think he doesn’t blame anyone. Merely stating facts is not blaming. I work in an industry where dressing decently is expected on men and also women customers and the fact that it’s becoming more prevalent for young women to show up in indecent clothes is a problem in itself. We have to inform them to cover up sometimes and it becomes a very painstaking job that none of us should do in the first place
Brilliant article! Your first one was impressive, but this is earth-shaking because you are addressing the hidden evils, the evils to which we respond 'that's just the way it is' Soft p*rnv is everywhere. Tiktok is no longer a dancing app. It's filled with good-looking men doing shirtless thirst traps, and girls dancing in sexually provocative ways wearing revealing outfits. Even modern media is filled with soft p*rn. Take a look at the sentiments surrounding the female rabbit from Zootopia 2, or Elastigirl from the Incredibles. It's sickening. Twitter used to be a place to share thoughts. Now it's an underground center for 18+ content, a place for onlyfans creators to promote their content. That's why the kids need to be off the phones and apps. Their minds are being corrupted and their true potentials stolen from them.
Thank you for this important and well-written post on an exceedingly relevant topic, Zahra. I think in this world which is more interconnected than ever before through the internet and social media, the ease with which sexualization and explicit content filter into the everyday goings-on of children and young adults through things like Instagram is very harmful to their healthy development both psychologically and emotionally.
There is a fundamental illusion at the heart of this entire debate—an illusion that keeps the public confused and forces the conversation into the wrong categories. Almost everyone approaches this issue through moral panic, cultural criticism, or ideological narratives. But none of these frameworks touch the real core of the problem.
Because what we are dealing with is not cultural decay, not moral failure, and not even “bad decisions.”
It is the simple fact that the most powerful, fastest, and most irresistible circuits of the human brain are evolutionarily built around sexuality.
This is not a flaw.
It is not corruption.
It is not weakness.
It is evolutionary engineering at its finest—millions of years of optimization designed to ensure survival and reproduction.
And once you understand this, the entire landscape changes.
1. Algorithms target sexuality because it is the most responsive system we have — and that is a biological fact.
Digital platforms succeed not because people are weak, but because they are tapping directly into the brain’s strongest neurobiological lever.
When the most ancient, most sensitive, most dopamine-saturated circuits are stimulated, the system responds immediately.
It must.
That is how it is built.
2. When society ignores the biology and focuses only on ideology, the result is confusion — not clarity.
This is why public discourse becomes chaotic:
– One side blames moral decline
– Another side glorifies limitless freedom
– Others frame everything as cultural oppression
But none of these explanations reach the real mechanism.
They only create noise, misunderstanding, and polarization.
People end up talking past each other because they are trying to interpret a biological phenomenon through ideological or moral lenses. And that always produces distortion.
3. The behaviors being criticized are often not “choices” at all — they are non-negotiable human circuits.
And this is where the greatest harm occurs.
When people hear endless warnings about sexualization, pornography, algorithms, or youth culture—without any biological context—many begin to internalize a false message:
“There is something wrong with me.”
“I’m weak.”
“I can’t resist because I’m flawed.”
This feeling of helplessness is not only unnecessary; it is damaging.
Because the truth is:
No one can simply “willpower” their way out of mechanisms that were designed long before modern life existed.
So when commentators claim to “help” society by moralizing these issues, they often achieve the opposite:
They increase shame, confusion, and despair—while failing to explain the system itself.
4. The real crisis is not human biology — it is our failure to understand it.
The evolutionary machinery is not the enemy.
It is precise, elegant, and extraordinarily well-designed.
The problem arises when commercial systems exploit it faster than individuals can understand it, and society responds with ideology instead of science.
That is why the public ends up lost in contradictory opinions, all of which ignore the actual mechanism shaping behavior.
The truth is far simpler and far more empowering:
Human sexuality is powerful because it is meant to be powerful.
The crisis comes not from this power itself, but from misunderstanding it and leaving people alone with forces engineered to overpower them.
Once the evolutionary foundation is recognized, the narrative becomes clearer, calmer, and more constructive.
We move from moral confusion to scientific understanding.
From shame to insight.
From helplessness to awareness.
And that shift—the shift toward biological clarity—is what society urgently needs.
Thank you for your piece, Zahra. This is such a relevant topic. I found it really important that you speak against blaming or shaming girls for acting in ways that they're being rewarded for, and instead focus on the ecosystem that created this system of reward.
I wonder: do you have any concrete ideas on how to tackle this? I think public policy might be the greatest tool, but I doubt that our states, bowing to the money-making machine, would want to confront this so directly. And as parents, prohibiting doesn't usually do any good... I know it's a hard question, but would love to hear any thoughts!
You’re absolutely right! On a social/political level you’re right only policy can really make a substantial difference and not sure how we could go about that. But on an individual and community level a lot of difference can be made. We often underestimate how impactful small changes in the culture of our homes and wider communities can be.
Internet Pornography is literally Terrorism. Literally.
Preyed on at the age of 10 - lead to a totally unhealthy relationship with porn - which lead to lying and gaslighting the habit I had - which resulted in a divorce of what was a beautiful and promising marriage of 5 years. Thank you for sharing this and putting a spotlight on the very real problem that’s right beneath everyone’s noses.
The aftermath for the young may not seem destructive at first but its consequences in the long run are terrible - speaking from experience.
Thank you for sharing Mac. I think you are absolutely right and the gut-punch is that profit is being extracted while lives are falling apart.
The vampire feeds while we bleed.
This is an exceptionally important topic. May Allah (swt) bless your efforts in raising it. It warrants far greater attention and crucially, meaningful action beyond what we are currently witnessing.
It has become increasingly evident that individuals raised within cosmopolitan, digitally saturated environments are continuously exposed to particular narratives and values that shape their worldview. In contrast, communities with more limited exposure to such online material often retain value systems that differ significantly from those disseminated through digital culture.
This disparity underscores the need for a deeper examination (met with action) surrounding how online influences shape social norms, identity formation, and collective values across different communities.
Thank you again for sharing this brilliant read sis!
Thank you dear Jeri! Beautifully put and I couldn’t agree more - it starts and ends with the children of a society.
This is one of the best articles I have ever read on substack.
Zahra,
I loved the writing style. You have nailed the topic, there's coherency between the ideas. The clear segregation of soft and explicit is explained beautifully.
To quote a few lines from your article,
"Algorithms are not passive landscapes; they are very hyperactive brokers of attention. They learn a user’s vulnerabilities with greater speed than any human observer could. "
The topic resonates with me a lot. Safe to say that the algorithms track everything, what time you wake up, what time you sleep, how big or small your real life friend cricle is, how much time you spend with them, what you eat, down to the every second of your life.
These platforms have all types of content one can imagine, to keep everyone hooked.
You like sports , we have it. You like fashion, we have it.
You like food , we have it. You like cute cat videos, we have it. You name it , we have it.
There's a magical wand that sits at the center of everything, negativity. Social media platforms crave negativity. Content which is soft porn, voilent , controversial, abusive, gains more traction and engagement.
To top it all of its free. The problem is not in social media or socializing, the problem is the business model on which social media is based on.
Social media is designed to exploit you, it is designed to be addictive no matter how disciplined you are.
Wonderfully said and thank you!
You are an amazing writer. Thank you for this, so so well done.
Thank you Allison! 🙏🏻
As a teenage girl who grew up “online ” I’ve always been exposed to soft porn content , from couple contents to booktok,etc.. but that never really influenced me until I came of age at around 15-16 all the girls around me where making thirst traps and posting themselves on social media and showing off how great their bodies were starting to look and being known as the girl who is “cute “ and not a “baddie” who doesn’t know how to do thirst traps was extremely embarrassing, I suffered from alienation until I gave in and now I’m a bit old enough to recognise those horrible behaviour and how to avoid becoming a victim. My youngest cousin (10 ) is also feeling the need to show her body on the internet in order to not be an outcast around her classmates. The effects of self-pornification on young girls need to be talked about more , loved this .
Thank you for sharing and I couldn’t agree more! Your experience is not the exception, it is very much the rule.
Well written. Thank you.
Or, don’t use Social Media?
It's easier said.
For females, on a psychological level, it actually is much harder. On a rewards-based level females are more relational than men. We care more about being in-group, about being informed, involved, not excluded. We are more sensitive to group dynamics and are more negatively impacted when we are excluded, insulted and targeted online.
Jonathan Haidt has a done a tone of research on this and for girls and women social media operates a little like a trap. Once we’re in the in-group that comprises our following and followers on Instagram for example, it becomes much much harder to exclude ourselves and leave.
No it isn’t. And I mean that sincerely. If it’s easier or difficult, you’re correct.
Excellent essay, Zahra! And terrifying as well, speaking as a mom of a 15 year old. Thank you for sharing all your research and findings in such a riveting manner.
Thank you Nida! I’m glad you found it useful 🙏🏻
Indeed.
All porn is gross and immoral and should be illegal.
Pornography is so destructive and insidious. So so wrong on every level.
The way some women dress is borderline pornographic.
this is exactly what Zahra was talking against in her piece. It is not about blaming women for dressing in any way, it is about noticing and acting against a system that tells us that our worth is tied to the shape of our bodies and how much we display them.
I think he doesn’t blame anyone. Merely stating facts is not blaming. I work in an industry where dressing decently is expected on men and also women customers and the fact that it’s becoming more prevalent for young women to show up in indecent clothes is a problem in itself. We have to inform them to cover up sometimes and it becomes a very painstaking job that none of us should do in the first place
Thank you for this. I believe we are at a spiritual warfare and this article proves it.
"If you want to destroy any nation without war, make adultery or nudity common in the young generation."
-Sultana Saladin
Brilliant article! Your first one was impressive, but this is earth-shaking because you are addressing the hidden evils, the evils to which we respond 'that's just the way it is' Soft p*rnv is everywhere. Tiktok is no longer a dancing app. It's filled with good-looking men doing shirtless thirst traps, and girls dancing in sexually provocative ways wearing revealing outfits. Even modern media is filled with soft p*rn. Take a look at the sentiments surrounding the female rabbit from Zootopia 2, or Elastigirl from the Incredibles. It's sickening. Twitter used to be a place to share thoughts. Now it's an underground center for 18+ content, a place for onlyfans creators to promote their content. That's why the kids need to be off the phones and apps. Their minds are being corrupted and their true potentials stolen from them.
Thank you for this important and well-written post on an exceedingly relevant topic, Zahra. I think in this world which is more interconnected than ever before through the internet and social media, the ease with which sexualization and explicit content filter into the everyday goings-on of children and young adults through things like Instagram is very harmful to their healthy development both psychologically and emotionally.
There is a fundamental illusion at the heart of this entire debate—an illusion that keeps the public confused and forces the conversation into the wrong categories. Almost everyone approaches this issue through moral panic, cultural criticism, or ideological narratives. But none of these frameworks touch the real core of the problem.
Because what we are dealing with is not cultural decay, not moral failure, and not even “bad decisions.”
It is the simple fact that the most powerful, fastest, and most irresistible circuits of the human brain are evolutionarily built around sexuality.
This is not a flaw.
It is not corruption.
It is not weakness.
It is evolutionary engineering at its finest—millions of years of optimization designed to ensure survival and reproduction.
And once you understand this, the entire landscape changes.
1. Algorithms target sexuality because it is the most responsive system we have — and that is a biological fact.
Digital platforms succeed not because people are weak, but because they are tapping directly into the brain’s strongest neurobiological lever.
When the most ancient, most sensitive, most dopamine-saturated circuits are stimulated, the system responds immediately.
It must.
That is how it is built.
2. When society ignores the biology and focuses only on ideology, the result is confusion — not clarity.
This is why public discourse becomes chaotic:
– One side blames moral decline
– Another side glorifies limitless freedom
– Others frame everything as cultural oppression
But none of these explanations reach the real mechanism.
They only create noise, misunderstanding, and polarization.
People end up talking past each other because they are trying to interpret a biological phenomenon through ideological or moral lenses. And that always produces distortion.
3. The behaviors being criticized are often not “choices” at all — they are non-negotiable human circuits.
And this is where the greatest harm occurs.
When people hear endless warnings about sexualization, pornography, algorithms, or youth culture—without any biological context—many begin to internalize a false message:
“There is something wrong with me.”
“I’m weak.”
“I can’t resist because I’m flawed.”
This feeling of helplessness is not only unnecessary; it is damaging.
Because the truth is:
No one can simply “willpower” their way out of mechanisms that were designed long before modern life existed.
So when commentators claim to “help” society by moralizing these issues, they often achieve the opposite:
They increase shame, confusion, and despair—while failing to explain the system itself.
4. The real crisis is not human biology — it is our failure to understand it.
The evolutionary machinery is not the enemy.
It is precise, elegant, and extraordinarily well-designed.
The problem arises when commercial systems exploit it faster than individuals can understand it, and society responds with ideology instead of science.
That is why the public ends up lost in contradictory opinions, all of which ignore the actual mechanism shaping behavior.
The truth is far simpler and far more empowering:
Human sexuality is powerful because it is meant to be powerful.
The crisis comes not from this power itself, but from misunderstanding it and leaving people alone with forces engineered to overpower them.
Once the evolutionary foundation is recognized, the narrative becomes clearer, calmer, and more constructive.
We move from moral confusion to scientific understanding.
From shame to insight.
From helplessness to awareness.
And that shift—the shift toward biological clarity—is what society urgently needs.