Subhan’Allah, I’ve always valued the relationship my brother and I have, but lately I’ve realised how rare it actually is. Our dynamic is solid, quiet and built on mutual respect. "This kind of witnessing cultivates, in my personal opinion, an emotional safety like no other and a sort of unspoken non-verbal understanding," spoke volume because he’s never crossed a line, which I can’t say for many others in my life. I’m grateful, and I hope everyone gets to experience a bond that grounding. Thank you for sharing such a well written piece.
siblings actually shape our genes. they are the most important force shaping our characters, personality. an older sister make the young brother more feminine, less aggressive (for better or worse). Frank Sulloway's 'Birth order, family dynamics, and creative lives' (1996) inspired me to psychoanalyze my own situation, #5 of 7. very helpful.
I share two completely different relationships with my two siblings (I’m the eldest of three), and this really helped me understand why! Thank you for such an enlightening post :)
I’ve definitely overlooked the power of sibling relationships. Your writing made me realize that. I think a key component to these relationships has to do with the absolute vulnerability that comes with being a sibling. From young ages, perhaps, you will both cry in front of each other, show angry, show pure excitement, fear, embarrassment, and at the same time (as you mentioned) share the same trauma or life situations. This really fascinates me!
The line about older siblings tending to be jealous of younger siblings for getting more attention made me laugh. I’m the youngest and the middle child is favored the most or the eldest, and no I’m not a spoiled brat seeking attention. People always say the youngest child is loved the most but that’s the irony, I’ve never had a single birthday celebration with friends or anywhere. My sisters party with their friends or go out to restaurants on their birthday just because they have jobs. I asked for one birthday party and that was all I got, one simple party with 4 of my friends one brought her younger sister. I still don’t remember what flavor the cake was because I never ate it. I stayed hungry the whole day so I could eat properly at the party. I had to pick up another girl and because of her I was late by 2 hours to my own b-day party. No one saved food for me and I had to play on an empty stomach. I reached home at 10 PM and ate a slice of an apple and went to sleep. That’s the irony. My family couldn’t make time for my graduation day. My sister said she was too busy “working”. My mom was sick. My other sister was in a different country and my dad had to work late. My sister’s office ends at 6 PM and my graduation and 2 time intervals 5 - 6 or 6 -7. We had to perform and dance both the times. 5 - 6 for girls parents and 6 -7 for boys parents but parents messed up the schedule anyway. At 8 PM most people went home with their parents and I came back home in the school bus. While other people took photos and videos with their parents after performing I went far away so my friends would think my parents came. My mom utterly hates me because I was born when she was 41. I’m perfectly normal. She took me out of the school volleyball team. She hates me for no reason and my sisters are too busy for me. There’s more but I don’t want to bore you. That’s the irony of a younger child. I’m not mad at you but people should really stop assuming.
Subhan’Allah, I’ve always valued the relationship my brother and I have, but lately I’ve realised how rare it actually is. Our dynamic is solid, quiet and built on mutual respect. "This kind of witnessing cultivates, in my personal opinion, an emotional safety like no other and a sort of unspoken non-verbal understanding," spoke volume because he’s never crossed a line, which I can’t say for many others in my life. I’m grateful, and I hope everyone gets to experience a bond that grounding. Thank you for sharing such a well written piece.
It truly is one of life greatest joys. Glad to hear the piece resonated 🙏🏻 thank you!
siblings actually shape our genes. they are the most important force shaping our characters, personality. an older sister make the young brother more feminine, less aggressive (for better or worse). Frank Sulloway's 'Birth order, family dynamics, and creative lives' (1996) inspired me to psychoanalyze my own situation, #5 of 7. very helpful.
Fascinating! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻
if oldest child girl then boy, the girl is more masculine and boy more feminine. and vice versa. if eldest boy, more masculine and then girl more feminine. i wrote review with my own family in mind. everyone can do this simple family psychoanalysis. https://www.ericwalberg.com/peace-socialism/906-harnessing-human-nature-part-ii-your-siblings-shape-your-genes-for-life
I share two completely different relationships with my two siblings (I’m the eldest of three), and this really helped me understand why! Thank you for such an enlightening post :)
I’ve definitely overlooked the power of sibling relationships. Your writing made me realize that. I think a key component to these relationships has to do with the absolute vulnerability that comes with being a sibling. From young ages, perhaps, you will both cry in front of each other, show angry, show pure excitement, fear, embarrassment, and at the same time (as you mentioned) share the same trauma or life situations. This really fascinates me!
The line about older siblings tending to be jealous of younger siblings for getting more attention made me laugh. I’m the youngest and the middle child is favored the most or the eldest, and no I’m not a spoiled brat seeking attention. People always say the youngest child is loved the most but that’s the irony, I’ve never had a single birthday celebration with friends or anywhere. My sisters party with their friends or go out to restaurants on their birthday just because they have jobs. I asked for one birthday party and that was all I got, one simple party with 4 of my friends one brought her younger sister. I still don’t remember what flavor the cake was because I never ate it. I stayed hungry the whole day so I could eat properly at the party. I had to pick up another girl and because of her I was late by 2 hours to my own b-day party. No one saved food for me and I had to play on an empty stomach. I reached home at 10 PM and ate a slice of an apple and went to sleep. That’s the irony. My family couldn’t make time for my graduation day. My sister said she was too busy “working”. My mom was sick. My other sister was in a different country and my dad had to work late. My sister’s office ends at 6 PM and my graduation and 2 time intervals 5 - 6 or 6 -7. We had to perform and dance both the times. 5 - 6 for girls parents and 6 -7 for boys parents but parents messed up the schedule anyway. At 8 PM most people went home with their parents and I came back home in the school bus. While other people took photos and videos with their parents after performing I went far away so my friends would think my parents came. My mom utterly hates me because I was born when she was 41. I’m perfectly normal. She took me out of the school volleyball team. She hates me for no reason and my sisters are too busy for me. There’s more but I don’t want to bore you. That’s the irony of a younger child. I’m not mad at you but people should really stop assuming.