13 Comments
User's avatar
Kabir  Arghandiwal's avatar

Thanks so much dear Zahra...I literally felt you were writing about my experience. 🙏🙏🙏

Zahra's avatar

So glad to hear that! 🙏🏻

Roohروح's avatar

Thanks so much for this. I really needed this info. Subhanallah. ✨️

Zahra's avatar

Glad to hear that!

April's avatar

This is fabulous

Eric Walberg's avatar

many thanks. i'm reading bergler now. brilliant freudian 1930s-50s on this unconscious self-sabotage. but ignored now as he was proponent of curing homosexuality. that very useful part of psychoanalysis was blackballed with gaylib 1969+. it's the most outstanding neurosis and curable. same repetition compulsion, masochism. now celebrated as healthy. muslims can harness this treasurehouse of experience and lead the way with psychiatry and hypnosis.

Zahra's avatar

Absolutely agree! Thanks for sharing Eric.

Aish.'s avatar

Thank you so much for this piece. May Allah’s Rahma find you in ways you expect (and don’t), always.

Zahra's avatar

What a beautiful prayer, thank you!

Aamir Razak's avatar

This was a great article about our unconscious being our own worst enemy, and trying to in its own way, protect us from what it deems "harmful". Very well-written Zahra, mashallah!

It's the story of the devil you know, vs the one you don't, as you eloquently say. I suppose that is one of the challenges but also sources of great triumph in human existence, to overcome our own unconscious "protective" mechanisms to make ourselves comfortable with being uncomfortable. In other words, to allow ourselves to not be afraid or retreat into ourselves when confronted with the prospect of something unfamiliar that may be beneficial or rewarding for us.

Undistorted, Radical Clarity's avatar

This is a masterful mapping of the hidden mechanics behind what so many of us mislabel as “failure” or “laziness.” You’ve named the paradox at the heart of healing: how the very systems designed to protect us in the past become the barriers to becoming in the present. It’s stunning how the unconscious trades aliveness for predictability—and calls that safety.

What stood out most was the recognition that sabotage isn’t opposition to growth—it’s a confused attempt at love. A body, a brain, a psyche trying to stay loyal to what once ensured survival. It’s not weakness. It’s memory. And it can’t be bullied into transformation.

The piece invites a kind of gentle precision—one that doesn’t bypass the nervous system or over-spiritualize trauma, but instead asks: What is this part trying to do for me? That question alone can crack open everything.

Thank you for illuminating how self-protection masquerades as resistance and how understanding, not force, is what ultimately dissolves the loop.

Clay Suddath's avatar

Or, in a phrase or two:

Be here now, permanently.

Continue.

Repeat.