I’ve seen covert aggression, name calling, gaslighting, and reputation smearing done by men. I suppose you weren’t writing for nuance here but I felt it was worth commenting on.
Absolutely! Like any temperamental gender difference there is always a wide and variable distribution of presentation. Definitely worth commenting on because the male and female anomalies face unique challenges among typically presenting peers of their own gender.
Without a diagnosis, but with higher than average narcissistic traits, the person I know with these behaviors had seasons of grandiosity, extroversion, and toed the line with overt expressions. I think if they had more status, they’d have more agency to be more unabashedly aggressive.
Then there were periods of esteem deflation. I could plot the months. The covert ‘victim’ behavior is the worst cycle/presentation to get caught in.
I’m glad to see deeper discussions on this subject— thank you!
Aggression seems too nebulous a concept for me. Like happiness. Aggression implies some sort of conflict or party we are aggressing on. Parsing our aggression and separating into what names of Allah’s rigor or justice our actions and intent are manifesting may provide a better way for us to understand this and modulate it
I grant you that ‘aggression’ is a nebulous concept, much like emotions it resists strict definition because it manifests across a spectrum of behaviours. I hope to detail the Islam ethics definition of the trait in a future essay with some research but in the context of this essay, I’m using it in the broader generally understood consensus of an powerful drive toward assertion (of a range of things like power, defence, boundary, identity, desire etc.)
Perhaps the phrase aggressive energy might be more apt, because sometimes I feel in the common lexicon, aggression is always given a negative connotation and one associated with primal, base emotions tied to human survival instincts. I appreciate and agree with your point that aggression (or rather, aggressive energy) doesn't necessarily have to be harmful, and can be channeled in positive ways into things like being a good debater/orator or in defending the rights of the oppressed. I think it also depends on societal context, as some groups or even individuals may praise "aggressive" displays i.e. speaking loudly and powerfully, and believe physical strength to be a virtue, while others may find it overbearing and rash and in poor taste. I concur with your sentiment that this energy can be harnessed for positive means and that things like bullying and physical harm, as well as psychological and emotional belittling and insults, are way beyond the pale, are wrong, and we have to try our best not to resort to them.
From a Taoist perspective, Lao Tzu taught that your feelings ( aggression in this case) are like a river. One should not try to hold on to it, but instead let it flow through you. The passage teaches that ignoring it is bad, and holding on to it is equally as bad, but one should try to use it with purpose.
That seems to be what you are saying here. Use it to keep or establish order, protect others, or other useful things, but be careful not to abuse it or take it for granted.
I’ve seen covert aggression, name calling, gaslighting, and reputation smearing done by men. I suppose you weren’t writing for nuance here but I felt it was worth commenting on.
Absolutely! Like any temperamental gender difference there is always a wide and variable distribution of presentation. Definitely worth commenting on because the male and female anomalies face unique challenges among typically presenting peers of their own gender.
Without a diagnosis, but with higher than average narcissistic traits, the person I know with these behaviors had seasons of grandiosity, extroversion, and toed the line with overt expressions. I think if they had more status, they’d have more agency to be more unabashedly aggressive.
Then there were periods of esteem deflation. I could plot the months. The covert ‘victim’ behavior is the worst cycle/presentation to get caught in.
I’m glad to see deeper discussions on this subject— thank you!
Aggression seems too nebulous a concept for me. Like happiness. Aggression implies some sort of conflict or party we are aggressing on. Parsing our aggression and separating into what names of Allah’s rigor or justice our actions and intent are manifesting may provide a better way for us to understand this and modulate it
I grant you that ‘aggression’ is a nebulous concept, much like emotions it resists strict definition because it manifests across a spectrum of behaviours. I hope to detail the Islam ethics definition of the trait in a future essay with some research but in the context of this essay, I’m using it in the broader generally understood consensus of an powerful drive toward assertion (of a range of things like power, defence, boundary, identity, desire etc.)
Emotions are like water. They will find a way.
Perhaps the phrase aggressive energy might be more apt, because sometimes I feel in the common lexicon, aggression is always given a negative connotation and one associated with primal, base emotions tied to human survival instincts. I appreciate and agree with your point that aggression (or rather, aggressive energy) doesn't necessarily have to be harmful, and can be channeled in positive ways into things like being a good debater/orator or in defending the rights of the oppressed. I think it also depends on societal context, as some groups or even individuals may praise "aggressive" displays i.e. speaking loudly and powerfully, and believe physical strength to be a virtue, while others may find it overbearing and rash and in poor taste. I concur with your sentiment that this energy can be harnessed for positive means and that things like bullying and physical harm, as well as psychological and emotional belittling and insults, are way beyond the pale, are wrong, and we have to try our best not to resort to them.
From a Taoist perspective, Lao Tzu taught that your feelings ( aggression in this case) are like a river. One should not try to hold on to it, but instead let it flow through you. The passage teaches that ignoring it is bad, and holding on to it is equally as bad, but one should try to use it with purpose.
That seems to be what you are saying here. Use it to keep or establish order, protect others, or other useful things, but be careful not to abuse it or take it for granted.