"There is something so unromantic about it, and yet it is the condition under which love becomes real." 🤯
Love this short read format (as well as the long ones!). You've really condensed a lot of thoughts on this one.
I'm currently dealing with the aftermath of the fall of an idol, which reminds me again that all idols must fall; but at the same time, there's something so valuable from the process of idolizing, their shadow in my mind helped me push myself to greater limits. And yet the process of realization is also brutal.
How do you usually readjust expectations to reality?
Thank you! And it really is as you say a ‘process of realisation’. Choosing to respond to reality rather than fantasy is horribly boring and to answer your question I have not mastered it. I try to and maybe I’m more aware of it but I fail constantly.
Such a thoughtful analysis and understanding ...far removed from the typical black and white, good and evil, perpetrator and victim thinking that exists in terms of relationships generally portrayed in social media. Thank you !
It is wonderful when the inner mechanics of what we all experience are laid out so clearly. For me it is with food. Because my self image is tied to being "someone who is a good cook", then naturally people I love, in my mind are invariably "people who like my cooking". When they don't - it hurts disproportionately! And now I know why! 😂♥️
This piece truly deserves appreciation. It clearly and simply exposes how the mind generates arguments even when there is no real counterpart, and how naturally we tend to inhabit these inner conflicts. On the surface, it offers a sharp and accessible observation of everyday mental noise in modern life.
Stepping one layer deeper, however, this behavior appears not as a flaw but as something entirely understandable. A brain shaped by evolution for survival has every reason to assume threats, attribute intent, and construct defensive scenarios. The real issue is not eliminating this mechanism, but becoming aware of it. Once it is seen clearly, the inner argument stops functioning as an automatic reflex and turns into a space for observation and meaning-making instead.
Wow, this really resonated with me! You captured such a subtle but common experience so clearly and it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while but couldn’t quite put into words. Loved it!
"There is something so unromantic about it, and yet it is the condition under which love becomes real." 🤯
Love this short read format (as well as the long ones!). You've really condensed a lot of thoughts on this one.
I'm currently dealing with the aftermath of the fall of an idol, which reminds me again that all idols must fall; but at the same time, there's something so valuable from the process of idolizing, their shadow in my mind helped me push myself to greater limits. And yet the process of realization is also brutal.
How do you usually readjust expectations to reality?
Thank you! And it really is as you say a ‘process of realisation’. Choosing to respond to reality rather than fantasy is horribly boring and to answer your question I have not mastered it. I try to and maybe I’m more aware of it but I fail constantly.
'Not the elimination of fantasy, but maybe the mourning of it, and at the very least an awareness of it' Amazing
Thank you 🙏🏻
This is incredibly well-written
Thank you for reading! 🙏🏻
Thank you for writing this. I found myself and understanding in it.
I’m glad it touched you and thank you for reading 🙏🏻
Such a thoughtful analysis and understanding ...far removed from the typical black and white, good and evil, perpetrator and victim thinking that exists in terms of relationships generally portrayed in social media. Thank you !
High praise, thank you for reading! 🙏🏻
Really liked this, especially the penultimate paragraph, thank you
I’m so pleased to hear it! Thank you for reading 🙏🏻
It is wonderful when the inner mechanics of what we all experience are laid out so clearly. For me it is with food. Because my self image is tied to being "someone who is a good cook", then naturally people I love, in my mind are invariably "people who like my cooking". When they don't - it hurts disproportionately! And now I know why! 😂♥️
That’s another perfect example although, and not to reinforce your representations and fantasies 😂, I’m sure you are a wonderful cook.
This piece truly deserves appreciation. It clearly and simply exposes how the mind generates arguments even when there is no real counterpart, and how naturally we tend to inhabit these inner conflicts. On the surface, it offers a sharp and accessible observation of everyday mental noise in modern life.
Stepping one layer deeper, however, this behavior appears not as a flaw but as something entirely understandable. A brain shaped by evolution for survival has every reason to assume threats, attribute intent, and construct defensive scenarios. The real issue is not eliminating this mechanism, but becoming aware of it. Once it is seen clearly, the inner argument stops functioning as an automatic reflex and turns into a space for observation and meaning-making instead.
Wow, this really resonated with me! You captured such a subtle but common experience so clearly and it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while but couldn’t quite put into words. Loved it!